I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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