If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
