If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
