Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
