Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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