I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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