she was so not down for the gang bang
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
