Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
