Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
