the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
