you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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