We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
