I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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