don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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