I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
