I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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