pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
