to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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