At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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