yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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