1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
