I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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