i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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