Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
