Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
