I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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