you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
