so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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