The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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