What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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