yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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