if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
