he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
