Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
