Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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