For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
