Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
