I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
