sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
