Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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