Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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