So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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