Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
