ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
