Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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