Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I party with great urgency now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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