Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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