Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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