I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
