And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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